X-Men 3: The Last Stand

The third installment in the X-Men franchise is easily the worst of the three, but did anybody really expect it to get any better? Both of the previous installments were probably significantly better than most expectations. I know the second was definitely better than what I expected it to be. However, even though it is the worst, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad movie. It’s just not that great. It’s a pretty forgettable but entertaining movie.

I don’t have too much to say about it. There are some startling new developments in Mutant Land, and I’m guessing this movie had better really be the true last stand because the X Men are almost made into the X Man. I’m guessing there was a conversation like the following during the planning stages:

[Movie exec 1]: The first two movies rocked. The movies were good, the fans were happy, and we made money hand over fist. I think we should kill the franchise off with this one. Go out on a high note, you know? That whole Seinfeld thing. Leave a good taste in people’s mouth.
[Movie exec 2]: Sounds good. Let’s do that. Make it so, Mr. Scriptwriter.
[Mr. Scriptwriter]: Okay.

Later, when the movie was wrapping up there was another conversation that went like this:
[Movie exec 2]: Hrrrmmm. . .I’m not so sure if we should end the franchise yet. We could probably milk this for 10 more installments. We could go to made for TV even.
[Movie exec 1]: Yeah, I’m getting cold feet about this. Let’s keep it going, you know, just in case.
[Mr. Scriptwriter]: But everybody is dead or powerless.
[Movie exec 2]: So?
[Mr. Scriptwriter]: Should we at least change the title to something like “The Last Stand. . .Maybe”?
[Movie exec 1]: No. “The Last Stand” will make people think we are going to end the franchise and come see how it ends. A brilliant marketing movie I must say!
[Movie exec 2]: Yeah! And X Men 4 can be “The End of the Mutants” or something equally apocolyptic.
[Movie exec 1]: Brilliant!
[Mr. Scriptwriter]: Whatever.

What results is a hint at the very end of the movie that the X Men will be back much to our dismay.

If you like action movies and the previous X Men, I’d say this is at least worth a matinee. It’s got a lot of fun mutant action and fights. Though it is pretty creepy with a hot woman goes berzerk and destroys everything. Women. . .

Pros: Mutant action, Wolverine, Ian McKellen, Halle Barry, destruction
Cons: Not as good as the first two, bad script

5 thoughts on “X-Men 3: The Last Stand

  1. More like Horrible Script!

    Scene: Wolverine and Storm are searching for Cyclops near a foggy lake.

    Wolverine: I can’t see a damn thing in this mess!
    Storm(snarkily): I can take care of *that*!!

    Man, that just didn’t translate well in type. The dialogue was so ridiculous, you just had to hear it to believe it. The way they were talking it was like the audience was being introduced to Storm’s powers…in the 3rd freaking movie!

    Another gem…

    Scene: cloudy sky with hints of thunder, Storm staring off into space. Professor X wheels up.

    Professor X: I don’t have to be pyschic to see something’s bothering you.


    The only good part was Magneto messing up that convoy, everything else was trash.

  2. Well I wasn’t expecting much of a dialogue, I was there for much of the same reasons I went to see underworld two.

    Yet I do agree with the progression of some of the characters. I think my biggest beef was the Jugarnaut thing. Pretty irratating on a few scenes, namely where he looses his ‘mutant’ power. HE ISN’T A FEAKIN MUTANT.

    I digress. The movie…is enjoyable. I got a warm feeling when Rogue finally gets to…make x-babies 😯

  3. Who the hell goes to X-Men 3 for dialogue? Stop being such n00bs. If you want a movie with excellent dialogue and depth of character go rent Brokeback Mountain. If not, shut up let Wolverine kill stuff.

    By the way, the lines in the first 2 weren’t all that amazing either.

    From X-Men:
    “You know what happens to a Toad when it’s struck by lightning?” –storm flies up in elevator shaft– “The same thing as everyone else.” –zaps toad–

  4. Uh, yeah, the lines did suck in the first one too, did I say they didn’t? But at least there were a few good witty lines here and there, or good moments.

    It really comes down to Brian Singer being a better director and getting more out of his scenes and actors.

    And FYI, I go to EVERY movie for writing, if not dialogue, then scenewriting. That’s an ESSENTIAL component to film, I don’t buy into this crap that you can forgive some movies for poor dialogue just because they’re based on a comic book or whatever. Sure you can overlook it if there’s other good stuff, but wouldn’t you ALWAYS want a movie with good dialogue or a good story? Like Crouching Tiger: Hidden Dragon; I’ve seen better action scenes in martial arts flicks, but the fact that it has an interesting story and some sweet lines, means that I like it better than a movie like Unleashed which had a TERRIBLY done story.

    And what exactly did Wolverine kill? He didn’t have any sweet fights like he did in X2 where he iced a bunch of those military dudes and had that clash with Lady Deathstrike.

    I think you can do action scenes in a way that’s plausible and still breath-taking in its intensity. I think Micheal Mann is the best at this (the shootout, post bank robbery, in Heat, and the savage fights of Last of the Mohicans spring immediately to mind) by consulting good action coordinators and filming in a way that allows the viewer to understand the scope of the action, and then setting those action scenes in movies where the characters have been developed enough that you are interested in their well being.

    So sure, if a movie has a great fight scene, I’m into that, but that’s not going to mean that I’m going to go gah gah over it and forget that it was written by someone who is semi literate; I’d much rather have it set in a movie that does a better job of developing characters.

    I want to be swept away by the movie’s world, and lines like the Toad one or the ones I mentioned take me out of that world. The fewer times that happens, the more I can enjoy the film and suspend my disbelief.

  5. I agree with just about everyone else here. It wasn’t great, but it didn’t outright suck. It wasn’t nearly as bad as Superman Returns (gag me with a fork). X3 did have that Star Wars ep. 3 “disappointing Jedi battle” aire to it, what with all the mutants getting mowed down like grass in that final conflict on Alcatraz. It was a bit of a let down. There were a number of cool effects, a number of really cheesy lines, some good parts, some crappy parts, but I was not “disappointed” persay. My expectations were met.

    Superman on the other hand, don’t get me going on that flop! Me and Tristan saw that one a couple nights ago, and I expected it to suck; but it fell dismally short of my expectations. The only singlarly enjoyable bit of that movie was watching Kevin Spacy as Lex Luthor. He did a decent job. Everyone else in that film couldn’t act their way out of a paper bag-particularly the numbnuts they chose to play Superman, and Lois Lane, and her stupid husband (wasn’t he “Cyclops” in X-men?), and that stupid lady who played Luthor’s sidekick (he totally shuold have had her skinned alive). And what gives with the decided lack of badguys? Luthor is trying to kill billions of people, but he has like 3 henchmen? You’d think he could have budgeted for more help! And was Superman dead? Was he alive? Its like the movie coudn’t make up its damn mind. “Superman is dead!” but in the next scene he’s fine. Crap! Utter crapola!

    It may sound terribly unpatriotic of me, given that Superman is quite the American icon, but I really think the whole character sucks, even in the comics and old movies. I mean really, no one can recognize Clark Kent without glasses? He never thinks to merely smoosh Lex Luthor like a bug, drop a mountain on his head, melt him with his laser-vision, or in some other fashion berid himself of his basically helpless arch-nemesis for good? Anyone ever seen “Bambi meets Godzilla”?-something like that…Superman flicks Luthor and “SMOOSH” the world is safe. It would be that easy! But nooooooo, gotta keep the story going. And what the hell gives with Kryptonite. That is so lame. Superman becomes the ultimate pussy when he is in close proximity to some stupid green rock? Give me a break. That is the problem with creating a character who is in every way unbeatable-you can’t think of an intelligent way to make the story dramatic. You have to resort to something retarted to add that element of weakness and “beatability.” May as well have made Superman allergic to beestings or something. Same friggin thing. BAH!

    Anyways, wait until that stinking pile of hooey comes out on video.

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