I’m not sure why I keep track of these events. I mean, it’s important to other people who are directly involved, but it’s important to me only on a much lower level. I suppose there is a certain degree of inevitability in all this, and I should expect this pattern to continue for at least a few more years. However, this is starting to grow tedious.
Now that my inner circle of friends has been almost completely conquered by the forces of marital bliss, it is my extended circle of friends who are succumbing to this irresistable assault on Singledom. Once again, I echo my determination that I shall remain steadfast, an unassailable bulwark against that fiercesome hail of Cupid’s arrows. And even as the battle rages, I remember my fallen comrades when I hear of their defeat. Like last week, I discovered yet again that another fellow warrior has kicked the love bucket. I shall honor her (yes, her) demise with this scream (428 KB wav), which also happens to make good on a previous promise.
To be honest — because we should be honest, right? — this is a battle I’m ambivalent about winning. I’m not really fighting this not-so-good fight. However, currently, it seems my most precious of organs can’t seem to be fatally pierced by the missles of love. I’m not sure if it’s because my heart it too small for Cupid to hit or if he ran out of arrows or if he just keeps firing duds or my armor class is too high for his wimpy lvl 1 arrows (there’s some nerd jargon for you). Whatever the case is, I’m simply pulling E&E maneuvers (there’s some military jargon for you), and I’m still trouncing Cupid in battle. Imagine how successful I would be if I actually tried. If I were to take up the Shield of Bitterness, the Sword of Unending Cynicism, the Breastplate of the Hardened Heart, and the Helm of Lost Love, I would be unbeatable.
And, I’m not sure if I could get any more overwrought.