Super Bowl redux

Bob really threw down the gauntlet about this Super Bowl stuff. Heck, he called me out by name. Not too often that happens to me, but I’ve heard his piercing wail emanating from the fierce jungle of the Super Duper International Web Thingie. He displays an impressive command of football lingo and memory of the game. Clearly, he is an opponent who demands respect. However, I will not be cowed! I will not falter in fear! Behold, I, a Seahawk fan before the foundation of the world, shall demonstrate with incontrovertible proof that the officiating in Super Bowl XL sucked A. I only have 45 minutes before my internet runs out at this café so I gotta be quick.

First, a democratic broadside. Democracy is the solution to the world’s problems, and it will be the solution here. Notice: 61.7% of respondents believed the officiating affected the outcome of the game. I think this alone proves me utterly in the right. Also, 57.1% of respondents believe that officials missing calls played the biggest role in the outcome of the game. Interestingly, only 14.2% said it was the Steeler’s making plays. In conclusion, the only people who believe that officiating was spot on for Super Bowl XL is Steeler’s fans and NFL officials trying to save their corrupt organization that slaughters pigs just for their skin(!). Oh, and Rush Limbaugh, do you really want to be on Limbaugh’s team?

Second, as we can see from here and here, NFL officials seem to have garnered and extra amount of complaints this season. They’ve had to fine several coaches for making derogatory remarks about officiating. And the NFL, home of the tough guy American sport, has grown “sensitive” to complaints concerning its officials. Sensitive? Usually one grows thin skinned when somebody knows something nasty is being touched upon. And from the second article we see that this has been a post-season “filled with questionable calls.” Complaints about the Super Bowl officiating is only the final chapter in a series of complaints.

Third, we see a break down of the questionable calls and find they were all clearly lame calls. Starting from the beginning, if Jackson’s “offensive passing interference” was truly what it was then that Steeler’s player is the biggest sissy in the game and that ref is the most legalistic ref in the game. Jackson was going into a scramble, he had just switched directions by 180 degrees when his arm came out, he barely touched the Steeler’s defender, causing neither backwards momentum or visibly stopping his forward momentum. Saying Jackson “pushed off” of him is blatant exaggeration. Jackson clearly gained no advantage by touching the other player with the tippy-tips of his fingers. Next is Ben Roethlisberger’s “touchdown.” This is easily shown to be a bad call by pointing out the ref taking his sweet ole’ time to make the call and Roethlisberger’s supremely guilty look when he shoved the ball into the end zone. Let me just say this, if my kid ever gave me that look, I would know for a fact that he did something wrong. At the very least, this should have been a no-call situation, but the ref was soooo eager to give the Steelers some points, he was just too happy to hop in and say something. Of course, it’s likely that Pittsburgh would have scored on this drive, but I am simply establishing a pattern of bad calls here. Then we have the holding call, on the Seahawks that messed up a pass that would have put Seattle in an almost certain scoring position. I honestly don’t remember this call with much accuracy, probably because my vision was clouded by all the lightning bolts of anger and the third beer. Needless to say, the call still sucked. And finally, the “low blocking” call on Hasselback that would have cut off a Pittsburgh interception at the knees. This one is plainly wrong. Even Madden saw that. Conveniently, Bob ignores this obvious error..

So, let’s start stringing together the clues. Bob likes mystery novels, so this should be old hat for him. First, we have nearly the whole nation saying the officiating sucked. Clearly, this isn’t isolated to Seattle and whiney hippie liberal Seahawk fans who can’t get their way by complaining about the outcome of national elections and so have turned their bleating towards football. Second, we find that officials this year had already established a pattern of making poor calls. Enough bad calls were made that multiple coaches have been fined for remarking on this, and other games have been affected by the bad calls. Third, we find a string of questionable and outright wrong calls by the refs in the Super Bowl, many of them conveniently timed at key points during the game, effectively killing most of Seattle’s momentum. To put it in even clearer terms: most people agree bad calls were made that changed the outcome of the game, refs were already under fire for bad calls during the regular and post-season, a string of questionable/wrong calls at key points during the game all went against Seattle. Hmmm . . . maybe, just maybe, the reffing did suck A and there was a sinister cabal of refs, oil tycoons, Halliburton, Scooter Libby, NSA wire-tappers, the Illuminati, devil worshippers, Danish cartoonists, and G. W. Bushitler plotting the downfall of the noble Seahawks. I believe it. You should too.

The Steelers made some fantastic plays: the gadget play with a wide receiver throwing a TD pass (that was awesome to see), Roethlisberger’s pass after being chased out the pocket, and that 75 yard run for another TD. However, that’s really all the Steelers had the whole game. They had 3 neat plays, and the rest was just sub average football. The Hawks crushed them in every stat but rushing, but that’s only because of the freak 75 yard dash. The Seahawks, at least in the first half, had consistently strong playing but were foiled at nearly every critical play by a close, controversial call by the officials. If Pittsburgh was really this monster of a team and Seattle a wussy one, how come Pittsburgh did so crappy in passing, receiving, rushing, etc.? Pittsburgh was beaten in almost every stat and was bailed out by the refs at almost every downturn, and you say the best team won? Whatevah! You say the best team won, I say they got lucky a couple of times and the refs were their 12th man.

But let’s end this on a positive note, on something we all can come together as a family and agree: the commercials sucked. Agreed? Agreed. Amen and again I say amen.

P.S. If it isn’t clear yet, I really don’t care about football or the Seahawks that much. I only care about football slightly more than I care about baseball, which is probably one of the most boring games in the world. Football is really only better because it has dudes hitting dudes and cheerbabes. I’m just using this game as another excuse to be more emo.

4 thoughts on “Super Bowl redux

  1. I’ve said my piece. I’ll ignore your whimpering and whining like a little girl and agree that, by and large, the commercials sucked. I only really laughed at the “magic fridge” and the crime deterring cell phone.

    Now that football season is over, we can all get back to hating the Yankees together.

  2. You do realize that Big Ben’s pushing the ball over the line ISN’T the basis for that play being a touchdown? The ball simply has to cross the goalline in the AIR; it doesn’t have to be on the ground on the other side of the line. That said, I still didn’t see the ball even cross the goal line in the air…and your point stands 🙂

  3. Here’s my ultimate conclusion:
    We could have still won the game in spite of the penalties if Stevens had caught a few more passes and our MVP lived up to his title.

    The officiating definitely made an impact. I don’t think it spoiled the game entirely, but it definitely halted our momentum and some key plays which a reasonable Steelers fan could recognize would have made an impact.
    The Steelers made a pretty poor performance.

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