I get paid to talk to women

Maybe that should be “women.”

Part of my job with T-Mobile is to test SMS chat services. I’ve discovered testing these services are a little tricky for me for a couple of reasons. Let me lay it out.

First and most boring, the chat services take a while to test due to their nature. I have to establish contact with the service, establish a small profile (viz. my name, age, gender, what gender I want to talk to, etc.), and then actually chat with the person on the other end. Yes, it is a person. Bots are strictly forbidden and are fairly easy to detect during the testing. Chat services easily take twice as long, maybe longer depending on response time, to verify than other simpler chat services. This is annoying because we have a huge back log of services to certify. Fortunately, it is because of this back log that I got hired, so I won’t be killing myself to get my work done.

Second, since I know I’m talking to another person on the other end, I find it hard to treat them any different from another person. I feel bad if I make up information. I feel bad for cutting the conversation short. I feel bad for issuing the service killing “STOP” message. The person on the other end could be anybody, including a fat, old dude who failed high school and gets his jollies by skinning cats. However, I have a hard time thinking it’s not 22 year old Sally from Sacramento. I want to believe this faceless, bodyless, functionally anonymous person on the other end. I wonder if this means I’m not really committed to my Calvinism.

Anyway, sometimes there are fun moments when I’m doing my tests. For instance, today I briefly chatted with a girl name “Porsche.” I immediately asked if she was from Germany. She was not, but she was interested in “movies, music, books, cars, and going out” and would do “just about anything.” How convenient! And then my last chat test had me talking to Sally, and it was almost eerie. She asked me real questions and responded just like many of the other ditzy girls with whom I’ve chatted in real life. I even got her to “hehehehe.” I guess I’m a pretty funny guy.

All in a day’s work at T-Mobile.

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