Partay partay

So, I did this bachelor party thing last night. It was probably the second best bachelor party I’ve attended (the first being that one for a complete stranger and had my arch-nemesis at the time in attendance — good times!). Unfortunately for you, dear readers, I can’t divulge anything because what happens at the bachelor party, stays at the bachelor party. I’ll just say we were all locked, cocked, and ready to rock. I did find out just hours ago that one of my friends narrowly avoided severe injury after the bachelor party, which goes to show you that normal life is more dangerous than the bachelor party life. Oh, the bachelor did give me permission to put the most demeaning picture of the night on my blog, but there are two problems with this. First, I’m not sure if he gave careful, sober consideration to this allowance. Second, steevak.com is a family-friendly site.

There were several comments made during the night about my future bachelor party, if I were ever so lucky to have one. Usually the comments were laden with superlatives and described grandiose activities. Since I’m on track to be the very last one in the Friend Group to get married, my bachelor party will have to be the bachelor party to end all bachelor parties. I’m simultaneously excited and frightened. It would be nice to survive until my wedding . . . unless I wanted a good excuse to avoid the wedding. Anyway, all this and that talk is pointless as long as I can’t find a girl, and that prospect is looking increasingly grim considering my unbroken streak of strike outs. I tell you, dear readers, things are not OK on Ego Ranch. One of these days, I’d appreciate some girl with a little bit of fortitude to sit me down and tell me exactly why I’m not the catch everybody says I am.

This is turning into a pity post, so it ends!

8 thoughts on “Partay partay”

  1. From someone who has never been lacking in fortitude :wink:, you’re the catch everyone says you are. Chicas who don’t get that don’t deserve you, dear friend.

  2. It’ll happen for you bro, no worries. One mistake thta bachelors tend to make (and I don’t want to sound ingrateful to my wife-she’s absolutely wonderful) is that they think they’d be any happier WITH a girl. This is not neccessarily true. Marraige is a wonderful, difficult thing. You give up tons of personal freedom and comfort, and you gain an equivalent in a best friend, a family, and someone you can give it to every night! However, speaking from experience, I often envy the freedom of bachelors like yourself. No rush dude, be satisfied with where you are.

  3. Kyle, thanks! I can always count on you to make me feel special. 🙂

    Micah, I’m in no rush, and believe me I thoroughly enjoy the freedoms I have. It’s sooo nice to be able to do whatever the heck I want without having to clear it by some significant other. E.g. going out, spending money, running around in my boxers, sleeping in, staying up late, trash, dishes, cleaning, laundry, what to eat, when to eat, what I eat, playing video games, watching movies, going shopping, taking road trips, who I see, who I talk to, how many times I hit the snooze button, and being about as awesome as I can be. Indeed, sometimes I wonder if a girl would really improve my life in anyway.

    Oh yes, and then I remember how lame it is to be alone sometimes.

  4. Nobody remembers Babe Ruth striking out, and nobody remembers Frank Sinatra hitting an off key note, but it happened. Ice Queens will always be out there, Steve, you just need to build a fire. Point is- Forget about yout strike outs, and dont worry when you say something stupid, cause once you do hit the home run, you wont be able to remember anything else but glory and consequence. AMEN!

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