so stinkin’ close

Tomorrow is my last day of classes for the first year of law school. I only have one class, and it’s a review session that could be as short as 15 minutes, depending on student’s questions. Unfortunately, I have a long paper due at 5 pm tomorrow. Today my classmates who know about my severe procrastination habit were asking me if I had started yet. Of course I had! Though I didn’t tell any of them how far I had gotten (not very far). Somehow it got out amongst my classmates that I did all my memos the night before they were due, so they ask me how I did it. I just tell them I’m a slave to the last minute and I’m not afraid of all-nighters. I’m sure they all write me off as one of those who sets the low end of the curve. Yeah, well somebody’s gotta do it! Har har. Look, I’ve tried to do work early. I just cannot do it. It’s like an impossibility for me to get anything done before The Last Minute. I will do just about anything to to avoid doing the thing I’m supposed to do. I’ll do dishes! I’ll clean my room! I’ll tinker with my blog! I’ll stare at my computer! Anything! Anything but the Assignment! My parents did their best to instill in me the work ethic of “work before play”, but I think that part of my character was coated with teflon.

Anyway, I got this paper almost licked. Compared to my appellate brief, this thing is a breeze to write. Writing the appellate brief was like trying to squeeze blood from a brick, but the only blood that flowed was the blood I sweated. But for this paper, things are different. Earlier today I was pumping out about 2 pages an hour. Things have slowed down since then, but I basically know what I’m going to say for the rest of the paper. Besides, I have like 17 hours to finish it. Not a problem. Here’s a little known piece of our history I discovered during my research. I find it remarkable.

In 1908, Senator Robert Lafollete began filibustering a currency bill, which he suspected was a power grab by the rich. During his eighteen hours holding the floor in the stifling heat of the Senate chamber, including an all-night speech made necessary by a parliamentary ruling that prohibited him from using quorum calls to get a moment’s rest, LaFollette sustained himself with turkey sandwiches and eggnog from the Senate restaurant. After taking a large swallow from a particular glass of eggnog, he rejected it as adulterated. And indeed it was; the glass was laced with enough ptomaine to kill him. The ptomaine he had swallowed made him quite ill, but he managed by forcing roll calls to escape for a few minutes of respite, and he continued his speech for another eight hours. The filibuster was ultimately lost when Senator Gore, who was blind, yielded the floor as prearranged to a colleague, who, unbeknownst to Gore, had just stepped out to the cloakroom.

Earlier today I realized I’m going to have a huge rant post after I finish finals. I have a lot of bile to spill about law school, and, since this blog is my cathartic muse, it’s all going to end up here. Well, the stuff that’s fit to print will anyway.

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