Here’s an interesting piece about breaking up on Valentine’s Day. Though the article is severely undermined by such lines as this:
“The dark side of human nature is indeed dark,” he says, in reference to research he conducted at the University of Texas at Austin for a dissertation called “Cues to Commitment.” That research reveals five reasons that a man – men do most of the dumping – may end a relationship on Valentine’s Day:
1. He’s not interested in a deep, committed relationship and doesn’t want to lead the woman on.
2. He’s scared about the escalation of commitment that often comes with sharing Valentine’s Day with a woman.
3. He doesn’t want to waste time and/or money on a relationship he thinks won’t last.
4. He’s dating several women simultaneously and the obligations of the day – dinner, date, etc. – force him to choose one woman and dump the other(s).
5. He’s worried that publicly sharing Valentine’s Day with a woman will reduce his ability to play the field.
What was his sample for this research? Just the frat guys? This seems like some really shoddy research to me. In my experience and amongst the friends I have, women do nearly all of the dumping (indeed, I have trouble thinking of one instance where a guy did the dumping), and I have never encountered a guy described in point 4. Maybe this means I just hang out with quality guys, but that seems like total BS to me.
There is one thing that is definitely true in this article:
“It’s almost worse and more offensive to mislead the other person by going out on a date and going through the motions”
The pity date. One of the biggest fears I have about just asking a girl out. Too many girls do it, and it’s lame. It would be better to just shut the guy down, but most girls don’t have enough guts to do it. At least my lack of guts in relationships doesn’t result in somebody getting hurt. I just get frustrated.