Adventures in Bachelorhood

Hey, did you know that if you leave out a gallon of milk for two weeks it will expand, rupturing the jug and spilling everywhere? Did you know that spoiled milk smells really really gross?

When I was young and obediant my parents always got on my case to pick up my clothes. I’ve now come to realize the folly of this. Leaving my clothes scattered around my aparment serves three purposes. First, it allows me to quickly determine which clothes I’ve worn recently. If it’s on the floor, I’ve worn it already this week. Second, when clothes are lying on the floor it is easier to assess if they are dirty, wrinkled, or matching. Third, if the clothes are on the floor, I can easily pile them onto my bed for an extra layer of insulation during the cold nights (I refuse to turn on my heat). So, even if cleanliness is next to godliness, it’s definitely not next to convenience.

6 thoughts on “Adventures in Bachelorhood

  1. I should also add (and this is from personal experience) that loosely scattered dirty clothes will smell better than if you had taken all your dirty clothes and shoved them into a hamper. It gives them a chance to air out.

    This allows for “recycling” your clothes via the “smell test”.

  2. I may as well tell you that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!

    p.g. wodehouse
    The Smal Bachelor (1927)

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