SteevAK

Haha. How interesting. My journal entry almost exactly a year ago (May 19th, 2001) states that I pretty much gave up on being an attorney. This is funny becuase I have recently begun considering it again. In fact, I suppose it is my tentaive Plan for the Future. Also interesting is that in that same entry I also commented on a journal entry that was written a year earlier. I guess some things never change . . .

Anyway, so lots has happened since I last wrote. However, I don’t want to go into all the details. In fact, I’m not going into any details. I’ll just sum up what has happened in the past five months in several broad comments and thoughts.

I’m sick of working. I think I’m on the verge of burn out right now. It takes a comparatively incredible amount of motivation for me to overcome my desire to not work any more. Between the Cascade and school work, I spend most of my time working. Winter quarter was especially brutal. I believe I only survived it becuase I was able to combine two large term papers into one. I got lucky. Even this spring quarter, which I thought would much easier, is turning out to be a stretch as well. I thought I’d be able to take a month off of Cascade work (the yearbook was sent in to the printers by the second week of April), but that has shown not to be the case. I have lots of things to do to prepare for next year: make sure I even have a job, find a staff, find a supervisor, figure out pay for the staff, make sure we have money, buy new equipment, get new contracts signed, etc. The only large block of time I really don’t work is late at night, which leads me to my second comment.

I stay up way too late every night. I’ve trained my body not to start getting tired until 3 am. I’m usually in bed between 3:30 and 4 am these days. Seeing how I get up every day well before 11 am, and usually before 10:30, I get less than seven hours of sleep every night (and often much less). Now, this doesn’t seem too bad, but considering that I’ve been doing this all year, I have a serious sleep deficit. I see evidence of this all the time now too. I used to be unable to take a nap unless I was extremely tired. Now, I can take a nap whenever I want.

Classes are good. Upper division classes are far suprerior to lower division. I could be doing a little bit better with my classes, but not a whole lot. When you’re close to perfect, there never is a whole lot of room for improvement. I am finishing up my junior year now, but I’m already well into my senior year credit-wise. I believe by the end of this quarter I will have roughly 25 credits more than most seniors. This doesn’t really mean anything now except that I think I will be able to register for classes sooner. Not that I have a whole lot to worry about there. I am looking forward to the year ending.

Love is never fair. It’s like trying to play a game when all the rules are against you, the costs are high, probability of winning is low, and the risks are great. How is it worth it? For some reason I think it is, so I continue to play the game. Sometimes I am not rational. Please note, I’m using a simile. I don’t think “love” is really a game.