SteevAK

Another late night. I was going to go to bed an hour and a half ago, but I wasn’t tired. So, I took a walk, did some thinking, and I’m still not that tired.

I’m now in an apartment with my brother, so there aren’t a whole lot of people around (my brother is gone/ busy most of the time too). Actually, there is nobody ever around it seems. It gets kinda lonely here sometimes, and late at night the loneliness only gets worse.

Sometimes I wish there was a button I could press and a friend would pop up right in front of me. I could talk while he or she just sits and listens; never interrupting, never responding unless I ask a question. Or I could just let the person sit there on my bed so that I might enjoy his or her presence. Sometimes that’s all I want: somebody else in the room just being there. What would make it even better if it was somebody I cared deeply for, and who cared deeply for me too. Somebody who I could watch sleep while I smiled. And somebody with all the forgiveness and understanding in the world.

. . .
I’m racing, racing towards it
With Fear and Excitement
They seem unseperable
They seem so far apart
They are my close friends
They are my very ghosts
I’m racing towards it
Holding perfectly still.
In the race of standing still.